Funny

The following story is based on real events. That’s the kind of quiet claim that might make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Mostly it’s something reserved for films, but here it applies to a game, or rather, a real-world event that involved one.

Because we ALL go a little crazy sometimes!

Given that the majority of computer games are set within fantasy realms, and given the slightly crazy storylines that develop within, it’s no surprise that every so often a total nutcase is thrown up from the twisted minds of the developers. True, most computer game characters are a little nuts, but these guys take insane to a whole new level! Here is a selection of my personal favourite crazies.

Dawn of War II is not an RTS game. Well, certain parts of it aren’t, anyway. Relic have been responsible for the hugely successful series which combined the depth of strategy in the Warhammer 40K Tabletop gaming with accessible Real Time Strategy conventions, and before Dawn of War II, this had barely changed. Even now, with the release of the new game, some things haven’t changed. Relic are probably still devoted to producing a plethora of Sims-like expansion packs for the game in the near future. Indeed, you can just see future content through its lack in Dawn of War II. No Chaos Space Marines, for example, means that they’ll be back in a separate standalone campaign. The fact is, Relic know that they’ve attached the perennially popular Warhammer licence to a successful gaming genre. Not only that, but they know how to milk it. A tad cynical, perhaps, but when the refined gameplay works so well, why complain? And that’s really the mantra of RTS gaming, staunchly upheld since the days of Westwood’s Dune and Command and Conquer series: don’t change what works.
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Got a few thousand Wii Points to spend? It’s worth investing them in the enchantingly odd (and odd-titled) Strong Bad’s Cool Game For Attractive People. The first two episodes of the game series that defines acronymic awkwardness are now available on WiiWare, and provide welcome resuscitation for the sporadically dead genre of yore: the Point and Click Adventure.

Based on the long running online animated cartoon Homestar Runner, S.B’s.C.G.F.A.P focuses on the Macho Libre figure of Strong Bad and his frequent attempts to make Homestar’s life a misery. The first episode sees him, among other things, ruining Homestar’s attempt to win The Free Country Tri-Annual Race to the End of the Race, using a metal detector to find buried treasure, and chain-sawing bushes to death in order to gather their precious branches. It’s all madly surreal stuff, brilliantly written and spoken in wonderfully self-mocking internet idiom. And it might remind you of such classics as…such classics as…DAY OF THE TENTACLE! Read More  »

 
“Cool, add me as a friend”
“Sure, whats your gamertag?”
“Its Renegade Bill”
“Renegade Bill, no problem, will do that now-”
“But the e's are 3's instead”
“Sorry?”
“Instead of e's use 3's yeah?”
“3's?”
“Yup, the number 3”
“Any particular reason for this?”
“Well no....but everyones doing it”
“Ok, 3's it is then, just add you now as-”
“And for the B use an 8”
“An 8?”
“Yeah, the Bill starts with an 8”
“But that doesn't look right”
“I know, but everyones doing it”
“Right. 3's for e's and and 8 for B. Got it. Just add you-”
“And for the last l use a 1.”
“You use a 1 for an l? Don't tell me, everyones doing it?”
“Yup, they are” Read More  »

“Pistols on Licence to Kill! No Oddjob! Isn’t there an option to disable the body armour?”

 
Hear that? That’s the sound of gamers talking. And not through a headset which sounds like they’re holding an angry bee in their mouth as they do so. About which game? Goldeneye 007. Granted, Rare’s masterpiece/fluke is now a jerky and unplayable mess, but at its time of release, it laid down both the technical and social foundations of split-screen multiplayer gaming. So why have these foundations been abandoned, and why has nobody returned to build a party house upon them?

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Over the last few weeks I have been thoroughly hooked on ‘Brain Training' type games. My favourite of which has been the newly released ‘Brain Challenge' on Nintendo Wii. This 1000 point WiiWare title has plenty of give with its five categories of puzzles: Logic, Math, Memory, Visual and Focus, and 43 different mini-games which include;
‘Balance' where different objects are shown on scales and the player must determine which is the heaviest object.
‘Trout Route' where the player must follow a path based on the progressive numerical relationship given (ie. +2, -3, etc.)
‘Travelling' requires the player to memorize a route of arrows.
‘Bouncing Ball' has the player determining which ball bounces highest.
Of course all of these have to be played as quick as possible to receive the highest score. Your score then gets turned into a percentage of brain power, and with the game starting with a quote "They say humans only use 10% of their brains..." don't expect to see huge numbers.
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