Top video game psychos

Tag: Funny, Misc, Top 5's

Given that the majority of computer games are set within fantasy realms, and given the slightly crazy storylines that develop within, it’s no surprise that every so often a total nutcase is thrown up from the twisted minds of the developers. True, most computer game characters are a little nuts, but these guys take insane to a whole new level! Here is a selection of my personal favourite crazies.

Paulie Estacado
The Darkness

Mafia don and uncle of lead character Jackie Estacado, Paulie is the mafia psycho’s mafia psycho, the sort of guy you could imagine Tony Soprano calling in when stuff gets out of hand. Not content with attempting to assassinate his own nephew, Paulie then proceeds to murder the guy’s girlfriend while he is forced to watch, powerless. Met his demise at the end of a killing spree near the end of the game. Probably deserved it.

Augustus ‘The Cole Train’ Cole
Gears of War 2

A choice many will probably dispute, given he tends to fill the role of comic relief in the Gears games. However, when he rolls into the Hollow and starts taunting the multitude of locust via the intercom system, you know you’re in the presence of a true nutter. The videogame equivalent of running through Liverpool town centre at kicking out time on a Saturday night wearing a Manchester united shirt and singing ‘Come on you Reds’ at the top of your voice!

Sander Cohen
Bioshock

Considering the first actual character you meet at the start of Bioshock is an insane splicer looking to tear your head off at the neck, you could argue that the whole place is a few cans short of a six-pack. However, the first true crazy you meet along the way is Rapture’s own patron of the arts, Sander Cohen. Not content with referring to you as his ‘little butterfly’ the whole way through, his main interests include killing splicers and encasing them in plaster, and using you to murder his former protégées and photograph their corpses. As Atlas says, “Cohen, he's a real lunatic, a dyed-in-the-wool psychopath”.

Lord Lucien 
Fable 2

Some sympathy should be given to the lord of Bowerstone, as most of his actions are the result of losing his wife and daughter, and his subsequent desire to resurrect them by controling the mythical Spire. However, that does not excuse the general oppresion of his people, and the murder of young Rose. One of the more sympathetic psychos of the computer game world.

El Fuerte
Street Fighter IV

On the face of it, this guy’s not nessasarily the craziest. True, his costume is not the most conventional, and he bounces around like a pixelised Rey Mysterio on speed. But that’s not the reason he makes the list. The reason is that he is both a fighter, and a chef. This makes no sense!! His pre/post match taunts sound like the sort of thing James Bond would quote while fighting in a bakery. The computer game equivelent of Gordon Ramsey entering UFC.

Dr. Robotnik
Sonic

The quintessential computer game psycho. Dr Robotnik was trying to take over the world with over-sized gadgets and hairbrained schemes before the rest of these characters were in virtual nappies. Everything from the appearance (Bald, egg shaped head and giant ginger moustache atop a costume that is clearly not designed for proper scientific endevour) to the evil, evil voice, this is a guy who is clearly about 15 eggs short of a dozen. Imprisioning and manipulating small innocent animals in order to take over the planet?! Textbook psycho behaviour!

So there you have it, a few of the most memorable crazies going. Feel free to comment with your own suggestions!

Comments

Mon, 08/24/2009 - 12:52

Robotnik wins!

Anonymous
Tue, 08/11/2009 - 18:33

haha, thanks for the summary of your favourite crazies.

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